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Posts published in “Poems”

My Beard

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My beard grows down to my toes, I never wears no clothes, I wraps my hair Around my bare, And down the road I goes.

Morgan’s Curse

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Followin’ the trail on the old treasure map, I came to the spot that said “Dig right here.” And four feet down my spade struck wood Just where the map…

Modern Talk

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There was a time when people taked said with their mouth How they talk and it doesn’t mean a thing it’s called the modern talk Now picture the scene the…

Merry

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No one’s hangin’ stockin’s up, No one’s bakin’ pie, No one’s lookin’ up to see A new star in the sky. No one’s talkin’ brotherhood, No one’s givin’ gifts, And…

Mermaid

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Hey when I was a lad in fishing town an old man said to me You can spend your life your jolly life just sailing on the sea Now you…

Melinda Mae

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Have you heard of tiny Melinda Mae, Who ate a monstrous whale? She thought she could, She said she would, So she started in right at the tail. And everyone…

Me-Stew

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I have nothing to put in my stew, you see, Not a bone or a bean or a black-eyed pea, So I’ll just climb in the pot to see If…

Masochistic Baby

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Oh, ever since my Masochistic Baby went and left me I got nothin’ to hit but the wall. She loved me when I beat her, But I started actin’ sweeter,…

Marie Laveau

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Down in Lou´siana where the black trees grow Lives a voodoo lady named Marie Laveaux. She got a black cat tooth and a mojo bone, And anyone wouldn´t leave her…

Man Who Got No Sign

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Ko-we-ha Gemini Jim taw Scorpio Salo Taw sejno-nej-o-to-kono o-ha-na-shi-te-saw There was Gemini Jim and Scorpio Sal they was livin’ by the Golden Gate Freezin’ their nose and wearin’ leather clothes…

Mama I’ll Sing One For You

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I’ve sung my songs on dusty roads and dirty city sidewalks To sweatin’ hard eyed brakemen, in the rail yards I rolled through I’ve sung in blue wall papered rooms…

Makin’ It Natural

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I’m gonna throw my grass out the window Crumple up my papers too Give away my speed, Cause all I’m gonna need Is just a little bit of love from…

Magical Eraser

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She wouldn’t believe This pencil has A magical eraser. She said I was a silly moo, She said I was a liar too, She dared me prove that it was…

Magic

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Sandra’s seen a leprechaun, Eddie touched a troll, Laurie danced with witches once, Charlie found some goblins’ gold. Donald heard a mermaid sing, Susy spied an elf, But all the…

Lydia Pinkham

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CHORUS We’ll drink a drink adrink To Lily the Pink the Pink the Pink, The savior of The human ra-a-ace! She invented Medicinal Compound Most efficacious In every case. Now…

Love

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Ricky was “L” but he’s home with the flu, Lizzie, our “O,” had some homework to do, Mitchell, “E” prob’ly got lost on the way, So I’m all of love…

Loser

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Mama said I’d lose my head If it wasn’t fastened on. Today I guess it wasn’t ‘Cause while playing with my cousin It fell off and rolled away And now…

Lookin’ For Myself

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You may be lookin’ for me but I ain’t lookin’ for you I’m still lookin’ for myself and I ain’t got time to look for nobody else When I found…

Little Green Buttons

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The honeymoon ended a decade ago, If he still loves her he don’t say so, So she’s taking her blues to the House af Tattoos, Getting little green buttons on…

Little Abigail and the Beautiful Pony

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There was a girl named Abigail Who was taking a drive Through the country With her parents When she spied a beautiful sad-eyed Grey and white pony. And next to…

Listen To The Mustn’ts

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Listen to Mustn’ts, child, listen to the Don’ts. Listen to the Shouldn’ts, the Impossibles, the Won’ts. Listen to the Never Haves, then listen close to me. Anything can happen, child,…

Liberated Lady 1999

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She’s a liberated lady and she’s lookin’ out for herself. And she don’t need your protection, And she does not want your help. And if you’re lookin’ for some pretty…

Lemmebesomethin’

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Now if I can’t be your hotdog lemme be your little weiner Baby if I can’t be your regular man lemme be your in betweener And if I can’t be…

Lazy Jane

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Lazy lazy lazy lazy lazy lazy Jane. She wants a drink of water so she waits and waits and waits and waits and waits for it to rain.

Lady Godiva

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Hey Lady Godiva, ridin´ through the town Naked on your big white horse With your long hair hangin´ down Lady Godiva, you say you´re really frightened and so shy I…

Ladies First

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Pamela Purse yelled, “Ladies first,” Pushing in front of the ice cream line. Pamela Purse yelled, “Ladies first,” Grabbing the ketchup at dinnertime. Climbing on the morning bus She’d shove…

Kiss It Away

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There´s a shadow on the sun I see it risin´ Kiss it away, Kiss it away And there´s hurt down deep inside that I been hidin´ Kiss it away, Kiss…

Kick It Again

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So you heard there was a spark of love that I have for you You come back to kill it like you always do You found it weak and tremblin’…

Judy

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The waitress with the orange hair keeps motionin’ me to hurry up and leave I gulp my coffee – burn my mouth – grab up my coat and slippin’ out…

Joey

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Joey Joey took a stone And knocked Down The Sun! And Whoosh! It swizzled Down so hard. And bloomp! It bounced In his backyard. And glunk! It landed On his…

Jimmy Jet And His TV Set

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I’ll tell you the story of Jimmy Jet– And you know what I tell you is true. He loved to watch his TV set Almost as much as you. He…

It’s Dark in Here

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I am writing these poems From inside a lion, And it’s rather dark in here. So please excuse the handwriting Which may not be too clear. But this afternoon by…

Invitation

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If you are a dreamer, come in If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer… If you’re a pretender, come sit…

In The Hills Of Shiloh

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Have you seen Amanda Blaine in the hills of Shiloh Wandering through the morning rain through the hills of Shiloh Have you seen her at her door, listening for the…

In Search Of Cinderella

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From dusk to dawn, From town to town, Without a single clue, I seek the tender, slender foot To fit this crystal shoe. From dusk to dawn, I try it…

If The World Was Crazy

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If the world was crazy, you know what I’d eat? A big slice of soup and a whole quart of meat, A lemonade sandwich, and then I might try Some…

If I Had A Brontosaurus

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If I had a brontosaurus I would name him Morris or Horace; But if suddenly one day he had a lot of little brontosauri I would change his name to…

Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too

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Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me too, Went for a ride in a flying shoe, “Hooray!” “What fun!” “It’s time we flew!” Said Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me too.…

I’ve Been Working So Hard

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I’ve been working so hard you just wouldn’t believe, And I’m tired! There’s so little time and so much to achieve, And I’m tired! I’ve been lying here holding the…

I’m So Good That I Don’t Have To Brag

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Now I’m warnin’ all you women don’t stand too close to me cause you might catch fire Now you’re talkin’ to a man in a whole other kind of bag…

I’m My Own Grandpa

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It was many many years ago when I was twenty-three, I was married to a widow, she’s as pretty as can be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had…

I Once Knew A Woman

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Well now I once knew a woman listen while I tell you all about her yeah And the first time I seen her I knew I couldn’t live without her…

I Know You Little, I Love You Lots

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I know you little, I love you lots, my love for you could fill ten pots, fifteen buckets, sixteen cans, three teacups, and four dishpans.

I Got Stoned And I Missed It

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I was sitting in my basement I just rolled myself a taste of something green and gold and glorious to get me through the day Then my friend yelled through…

I Can’t Touch The Sun

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No I can’t touch the clouds for you I’ve never reached the sun for you I’ve never done the things that you need done for you I’ve stretched as high…

I Call That True Love

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You gotta wake up every mornin’, tip toe in the kitchen cook me great T-bone steak Serve it to me in bed go down the street and hustle bring me…

Hug O’War

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I will not play at tug o’ war. I’d rather play at hug o’ war, Where everyone hugs Instead of tugs, Where everyone giggles And rolls on the rug, Where…

How Many, How Much

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How many slams in an old screen door? Depends how loud you shut it. How many slices in a bread? Depends how thin you cut it. How much good inside…

Hoodoo Voodoo Lady

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Yeah hoodoo voodoo lady cast up your voodoo vision Let me know where did my baby go where did my lovin’ baby go Hoodoo voodoo lady shake your black cat…

Homemade Boat

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This boat that we just built is just fine– And don’t try to tell us it’s not. The sides and the back are divine– It’s the bottom I guess we…